two minds two voices.

So if you're a UBD student, you're part of the RESULTS ARE OUT hype. Yes guys, results were released just a few hours ago and my group chats on WhatsApp were filled with crying emojis. Intense? No, not exactly. This happens every time. 

My results, you ask? I wasn't satisfied. Enough to get through but if you knew me at all, you know I am nowhere near satisfied.

However, let me tell you why I'm not all that sad about it.

If you knew me, you know I am almost incapable of counting my own change in a restaurant.
This goes to show that Maths is nowhere near my favourite subject. But guess what was one of the compulsory degree core I had to take last semester? Yeah, statistics. How did it go, you may ask? Horrible. The lectures were horrible. The assignments were horrible. The exam was horrible. I am not exaggerating when I say that I did not understand a thing the lecturer said in the last few classes. Not only that, I COULDN'T SEE THE BOARD. AND IT WAS A BOARD FILLED WITH NUMBERS. I kid you not, it was hell. I carried the terrible thought that I was going to fail the module because I knew nothing. But I scraped the bottom of the barrel by doing all I can to push through even though I knew the chances of me scoring were slim. With the help of my good friends, I made it. I did not pass with flying colours but I made it through. If you were in my position and you knew how bad I am at maths, you'd would give me the chance to at least be happy about the fact that, I, Liyana Sidek, did not fail statistics.

I was in a class filled with students who knew what they were taking from the first day they stepped foot in the lecture.
I took all the same modules as my 3 girls. All, except for one. Accounting. Now, I have never taken accounting before, ever, and I had no one with me. If you think that's bad, I had to take the same tutorial class as people with accounting background, so I had to kiss my chances of getting extra help goodbye. (Not that we get extra help). For this module, I didn't have anyone to count on for help, except myself. Friends and family would ask if I was doing alright and I'd say yes. When in fact, I was nowhere near alright. I had to go through chapter by chapter that was thrown to us in just 2 hours of lecture in a week and everything goes by in a blur. I would study for hours, on the verge of giving up every time. But guess what? I made it. Again, it was not crazy good but I made it. I did not fail. With the amount of work I put in, in such short time, I wouldn't say I'm incredibly proud of myself but I can say I'm glad I made it through.

Countless reports and late nights I thought would never pay off but God knows it probably played a huge part in saving my ass.
When trying to complete a group work, report or research, the devil in me always tells me to give up because let's be real, how many percent of this huge amount of work will reflect in the final grade? What I fail to realize is that, every percent counts. Without these group work, I probably wouldn't have made it.

So, everyone, regardless of what last semester had to give you, don't forget to look back and give yourself a good pat on the back for putting in the work. Think about all the times you've burned the midnight candle just to study and the times you've turned down an invitation to hang out just to finish a project. All these deserve your acknowledgement even if you think it does not reflect in your results.

But having said all this, I am determined to strive harder next semester even if it means having to shed more buckets of tears. I am all for it. Here's to making the most out of our holiday and next semester!!!

Liyana
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I have been contemplating on what topic I should write for my next blog post for quite sometime now and as you can see; I haven’t posted anything for over 2 weeks now. A lot of things have happened over the past couple of weeks; Liyana and I with 2 of our friends went for a road trip, Liyana with her BoSE competition and many more. I’m sure Liyana is going to talk about that soon, so wait for it! But even with blog post worthy events I would always get stuck writing about them so I figured I’d write about something else.

I will be turning 20 this year and growing up, I have always been so concerned with my appearance, how I speak and etc. So a lot of questions went through my mind; will people like me if I look this way? Will they want to be friends with me? Are they still going to be friends with me even if I’m not that smart? Those sorts of things. But then as I get older, yes, I know I’m not even 20 yet but I’ve come to realize something, all of that don’t matter. Regardless of whether you are a boy or a girl, I know each and everyone of us has had those insecurities before, if you have overcome that then good for you! And if you haven’t then that’s okay.

The point of me writing about this topic is that, I want to tell those people who are very much insecure with their looks and all those mentioned that, you are not alone. There are people in the world who also think the way you do but then again, I want you to change that. I don’t want people to get hurt because they over think about these unnecessary things. Yes this is unnecessary. You could be enjoying your life right now but if you over think about these things, it could prevent you from doing what you want.

What I mean by that is, what if there is something that you want to do, for example public speaking. You have the passion and the ability to be good at it but you don’t have the courage to get up on that stage because you are scared people might judge you based on your looks… Well let me tell you something, it doesn’t matter! It’s sad to think that your passion, desire, skills and all that will go to waste just because of that fear.

Honestly, people will judge you no matter what, even the prettiest girl gets judged, but that’s their problem. There will always be people who will bring you down but what matters is that how you react to that. You can choose to let them win and let it get to you OR you can go up on that stage and do what you do! Tell yourself that those people who are going to talk about you, or the ones who have, that they don’t matter. And I’m not only talking about looks here but simply anything that makes people insecure about themselves, please keep this in mind.

I met a girl once back in high school and she told me she gets insecure when talking to most of her friends because they speak English fluently and she can’t. Of course I told her that it doesn’t matter if she couldn’t speak well, just try. If there are mistakes, people can correct her and she can improve with that. So, she took my advice, she set her fears aside and little did everyone know, she joined an English speech competition and got into the top 3! How amazing is that! I’m so proud of her.

So to wrap up my extremely long post, I just want to say to everyone that you are all special and beautiful in your own way. People will judge you no matter what, trust me, they will. But you have to keep in mind that how you react to that is the most important of all. Shake it off and live your life the way you want to! Don’t listen to those people, they’ll just bring you down and you know what they say, when people want to bring you down, it means you are already above them. Secure your spot at the top! There are people who could care less about all these things and love you for who you truly are. Be yourself! Being fake will get you a lot of friends but being real will get you the right ones. So stop worrying about all these things okay? We’re here for you!

Sorry for the extremely long post!

Sabrina


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Exams are over, the first year of Uni is done and I am back in the blogging momentum!

How I've missed this blog!
Hey guys! It took me a few days to get back to this blog after exams ended because I had to settle in. With everything going on around me and going on in my life, I hardly had enough time to take a breather! 

So for my first post back, let me tell you how the my semester has been overall.
I'm not sure if I've mentioned this here or not but I sure remember tweeting this multiple times - this semester has been Brutal with a capital B.

I had multiple breakdowns during the semester trying to juggle all my extra curricular activities, my academics and personal time. Everything got even tougher every passing day and I constantly questioned my decisions. I think I shed more tears than I thought I was capable of and I was in constant pain. I started losing sleep, I drag myself out of bed every morning tired and drowsy only to dread the day ahead of me. I was constantly scraping the bottom of the barrel for any extra energy to help me continue the day. 

What helped me get through this semester was the success I got from all my hard work. I am definitely not saying that in everything I do, I achieved success. No. I definitely faced failures and that added on to my stress but my success outweighed all the failures I got - in terms of quality, not quantity. I hold everything I've achieved with so much pride and happiness that it eliminates the sorrow my failures gave me. And I am proud of how far I've come in a short period of time. 

I've been so busy with all these that I barely had time to set aside for family and friends. Everything has been so fast paced that I forgot to feel the guilt of not spending time with my loved ones. When semester break started, the guilt was dropped on me and it hit me hard. Then I realised it was not only guilt but I miss everyone. Among those people are my very best friends, ever since high school. Most of them are in the UK now and the distance between us has been difficult.




Guys, this post is for you.
Things may not be the same like how it used to be, it may never go back that way. But it can be better. We've all shared the same school and same environment for years, but now it has changed. We can either see this as a barrier to our friendship or a chance for it to grow. I choose to see it as a chance for us to explore new things together. Why limit our friendship to a single place? 
We can explore together. We can learn new things together. We can grow together.

No matter where you all are, I miss all of you very very much.

Liyana
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