Semester break so far has been nothing but thinking ahead for the near future. With my second year of Uni just around the corner and my Discovery Year next year, you can say that my stress level is starting to peak again.

For anyone who doesn't know what Discovery Year is:
The university I go to, UBD, gives students the opportunity to either study or work outside the campus for a year when they reach their third year. Students with a high GPA are given the chance to study abroad fully funded by the university. There are more detailed explanation to this, of course. But this is the gist of it.

Now, in order for me to be sent abroad fully funded by the university, I have to score a GPA of above 4 for next semester alone. This is because the cGPA (total GPA for 3 semesters) has to be 3.8 and above to fully qualify for the Study Abroad Programme.

Last semester was chaotic to say the least, which led to a fall in my grades. To make it up, I have to work extra hard next semester. However, this does not mean I am ready to give up everything I love to do, (i.e. public speaking, etc.)

There has not been a day where I did not doubt myself. I doubted my capabilities. I doubted my ability to make it.

People have been asking where I plan to go for my Discovery Year and I can never give them a straight answer. I always answer them with "It depends on my grades". My answer alone showed that I doubt myself. And if that didn't give it away, I'm sure my facial expression did. To my surprise, I don't remember anyone reacting with sympathy. No one gave me a single look of pity and told me "It's okay, there are other options". Everyone looked at me straight in the eye and said something along the lines of "Why do you always doubt yourself? You'll make it" and "C'mon, you know you can". Although I don't say it to everyone, these encouraging words are what keeps me going. To know that people out there believe in me and what I can do is enough to make me get back up.

Whether I succeed or fail to get my goal in the end is besides the point. The point here is, there are people who believe in me and it just shows that I should at least have an ounce of belief in my abilities too. Maybe then things will work out for the better.