Never Solo
Those tiny ants you see at almost every corner of your house, have you ever watched them closely? You’ve probably seen one carrying that a piece of crumb. Have you tried to stop it? Flick one ant away and it’ll go flying. But have you ever tried to stop an army of ants on a mission to find food together? Support from each other keeps them going.
We are just like these ants. I found support in CrossFit. I grew to love the sport and being an athlete became a huge part of me mainly because of the community. Just last year during an annual CrossFit competition, I cried and sobbed during a workout for the very first time. I never really understood support until that last grueling workout was released.
The weight prescribed by the workout was something I’ve never lifted in a workout before and with this tiny frame? It could easy crush me. Still, I approached it without much thought and dove straight in! First lift in and my first thought was PHEW ok.. this is heavy. Approaching my second lift, I had a few seconds of pause at the bottom but it felt like a thousand seconds and it felt like I was standing back up in slow motion. I dropped the barbell and tried to regain composure. I glanced at my judge, who had a clipboard in hand, reminding me that I only had 2 reps in. TWO REPS. My arms were starting to ache and my legs were wobbly. A long, looooong way to go. Lift after lift after lift it grew heavier and heavier. My arms were starting to give in, I was failing most of them and the barbell was crushing down on my arms. I desperately searched for every drop of courage I had, inhaled and exhaled a thousand times trying to make successful lifts. But at one point, my spirits broke and my muscles gave up. I got down on both knees, leaned on my barbell and rested my head on it. Every inch of my body was dripping in sweat, my head and face felt overheated while I could hear my blood pumping in my ears. My heart was beating so fast when I realized tears rolling down my face. At that moment, I could hear my old self saying, “You didn’t think you could do this, did you? You are still weak!” Tears didn’t stop as I shook my head repeatedly and slumped down on the floor. I was ready to call it quits. Forget everything. I was done. Then I felt someone crouch on the floor beside me. I looked up to see my judge’s face and hear him say, “You either finish this, or you don’t get a score in”. I shook my head and said “I give up. No more”. He looked at me straight in the eyes and said “Get up. Don’t worry about the time. JUST GET UP”. I heard shouts, cheers and claps. I looked up and saw my friends, the community I adored telling me to get back up and finish what I started. Their faces showed not a drop of doubt. I saw them clapping and all I heard was “You can do this!”. I forced myself up slowly, walked to my barbell and after a long staredown, I picked it up. A surge of pain struck my arms but the cheers were louder. Every lift felt slow and incredibly painful but I could hear the shouts of support that fueled me to go on.
After almost an hour of intensity, the longest hour of my entire life, it finally ended with a loud thud of the barbell before I dropped on the floor and writhed in pain. A hand grabbed my arm, another one patted my back and before I knew it, there were cheers and familiar faces were suddenly in my view. Smiling, laughing and with eyes so proud that I found the energy to smile in between tears and pain. I rolled over and saw my judge crouched down again beside me, clipboard in hand, while he said “Congratulations. See! You did it. So, so proud of you”. I felt like a winner. I soaked in my own sweat and tears, but best of all, my victory.
This was the exact speech I delivered that earned me 2nd runner up in my first International Speech Contest. This is also one of the best speech I've ever written yet and the one that I am most proud of. This story also means the world to me because it happened at a point in my life when I started taking risks. It took a lot re-living one of the most bitter sweet memories I have but now, I can say it was worth every ounce of it. I hope you enjoyed reading as much as I enjoyed delivering it.
Liyana Sidek
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