Hi everybody! 

It’s been soooo long, I’ve missed blogging so much. I thought I would have the time to blog last month but towards the end of the semester, the workload got a whole lot crazier, final assignments from every module required all my attention and I’m truly sorry I couldn’t squeeze the time to share some of the moments with you guys. To those who’ve missed reading our blog, a big thank you for always checking on the blog and supporting us, it means the world to us!

So I was thinking hard on what to blog about because I have all these ideas but then something popped into my mind as I’ve just finisahed my exams.

All of you may know (or not) that I just finished my exams, and if you follow any of my social medias you would know how much I’ve struggled this semester. Though I only showed you what I wanted to show, know that there is more than what you’ve read or seen. I’ve had countless times where I thought of giving up because everything was just so difficult that I couldn’t stand them but I’m the type to always think about the things I’m about to do first before doing them; there are times I would YOLO it though, (I like using the word YOLO, hehe) but most of the time, I always think of what’ll happen if I do certain things.

 In this case, giving up.

I made time for myself to think about this; like what will happen if I just drop everything that I’m doing now and just, walk away.

First and foremost, I think of my parents. My parents have given me so much, more than I could repay them and for me to give up, just like that, would break their hearts. If I ask for something, they would give me, if I need help with anything; they’re always there for me. How can I give up, when all they want is to see me succeed in my studies, and generally, in life. I can’t bear to watch the disappointment on my parents’ face if I made the decision to give up.

 Second, my siblings. I am the eldest of four and the pressure is unreal. I know we are all doing our own things but I know that they still look up to me, because I am their sister. If I give up, they’ll think to themselves that “Oh, maybe if she can give up, I can give up too.” NO. I do not want that kind of thinking from any of my siblings. I want them to always give their best, and always try; and giving up, is not an option. But then I ask myself, “You don’t want them to think that way but, why did you?”

Third, my other relatives. I have an amazing family, I kid you not; they are the world to me. Both families from both sides are gem. I would not trade them for anything. I have aunts, cousins, uncles, who always motivate me, support me in everything I do. They would be genuinely happy for me if I did something good, but they would also be sad if I did something bad. I remember the disappointment on my cousin’s face when I flunked almost all my papers when I was in secondary. I cried to myself that night because I told myself how could I have done that to her? To myself? And from that day, I always pushed myself to give the very best, even if I have little confidence in whatever I’m doing. I tell myself to always do my best because I just can’t bear any more disappointment coming from the people I love.

And lastly, myself. I already can’t bear to see the disappointment in everybody’s faces, how will I bear to face the disappointment in myself? I’ve been working hard since day 1, I’ve gone through a lot of things and to just give it all up? I must be out of my mind. I tell myself, I was not raised to be the type of person to give up easily. No matter how hard the situation might seem, I will always try to push myself and just do it. It gets hard, I might break down and cry but I tell myself, don’t give up. Cry as much as you want, but never, ever give up. Once you’ve given up, you’ll lose everything.

With the help of all these in my mind, I managed to survive yet another stressful semester. I have to accept the fact that this is just how it’s going to be. There’s always going to be bad days but there will also be good days. People might throw a huge amount of workload at you but you just gotta do it. Oh and one of the motivation was also probably because my cGpa is at risk so I have no choice but to give it my all but it was mainly because of all the points I’ve listed down. Just saying guys.

I hope all of you did well on your exams and none of you gave up. And if you did, take it as a lesson and try not to give up next time.

So, I’m going to end this blog with this;

 Sorry for this long post, don’t worry, beauty posts are coming next!

Sabrina Yussof