two minds two voices.: Thoughts

“Your face lights up and your eyes twinkle whenever you talk about him.”

I have never heard these words from anyone about a guy before; well, not until this guy came along. Those words were murmured when both of us were still friends and it took me by surprise on how my face can light up talking about a friend. Ever since then I wondered, what’s so special about this guy?

I never really told anyone how I truly felt about him because I saw him first and foremost as a friend; a best friend in fact. He knows more about me than anyone else – we share things with each other; secrets, jokes, events that happened in our daily lives, everything. As I got to know him more, I genuinely feel that this guy is extraordinary. He has opened my eyes to a whole different world, he makes me realize things that I didn’t before and to put it in one sentence; he simply brought colors to my life.

I strongly denied my feelings but everyone could see the truth no matter how hard I tried concealing them. Everyone said it was obvious cause it showed the way I talked about him – it showed from my face, my voice, my eyes and I was honestly stunned by the fact that someone could actually make me feel that way. I kept rejecting my feelings, I said no to myself, I denied, denied, denied until the day I couldn’t anymore. I can now say, after 4 years, I am completely head over heels over my partner in crime.

He has always been there for me during my ups and downs even though I know he gets annoyed sometimes hearing all my girly problems. He always has my back for anything – I remembered that I had a point in my life where I thought everyone was against me and he sincerely said to me “I got your back, no matter what” and I knew those words were true.

I know that in life nothing is perfect and I know we both are not but despite all the flaws, I know that I would choose him over and over again. This guy really has earned a special place in my heart. I can’t wait to see what the future holds for us; I know it’ll be a good one.

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Thank you google for these cute photos!

So I know in Brunei, the results for the GCE 'O' Level and 'A' Level were out last Saturday and of course there were mixed emotions regarding to this - some were happy but some were otherwise. It took a while for the results to be out too and I know the anxious feeling waiting for your results especially when you've worked hard for it (or because you know you didn't do well) but regardless, waiting for results is energy draining.

To the lot that received amazing results, congratulations to you guys! I’m sure you guys worked your bums off for that and I am genuinely happy for the outcome. Although, to those who didn’t score as well as they hoped – here I am telling you that, this is not the end of the world. We all know how hard you worked but still get the same results? It’s heart breaking but hey, giving up is not an option. If you think that I don’t know what you must be going through then you are wrong.

During my A Levels, I yolo-ed and took subjects that I didn’t have backgrounds at; they were Business Studies and even worse, Accounting. I took Geography and Malay Literature as my optional subjects in high school and for me to jump to the business world; well, all of it were alien to me. I still remembered the day we had to choose subjects for A Level, we were asked to go around and ask for permission from the head of department (or the teachers available that time) of our preferred subjects if we can take the subjects or not.

The Business Studies teacher was kind enough to cut me some slack despite me not knowing anything about business then but the Accounting teacher almost didn’t give me the slot as she said it would be too hard for me and she doesn’t think I’ll be able to do it. I know her intentions were good but what she said made me want to prove everything wrong, even I, someone who doesn’t know anything in accounting, can do it.

The first few months of studying Business Studies and Accounting were awful – I spent my break and lunch time studying and revising for the two subjects. I even texted my friend almost every night to help me with accounting and I’m sure she got really annoyed hehe. All my classmates were very helpful too!

Fast forward to AS exam in June; I was devastated to see bad results for both Business Studies and Accounting after studying my bum off. I almost gave up but as I said, giving up is never an option for me, regardless in anything. So I kept studying, revising, and revising again day by day; I even went to tuition classes for accounting just for the extra revision. My tutor gave me A LOT of past year papers to study/revise from. I don’t remember going out as often when it was close to the exam dates BUT I’d like to advise all of you, please take a day or two to breathe from all your studying, you’ll thank yourself for it.

Anyhow, come results day, I was utterly shocked seeing my results especially in Accounting. It jumped from an E for June AS to a B for my A-Level. Yep, I’m not even kidding. (Note: This is not me bragging, it is merely a statement).

The point is, I want to tell everyone who is currently demotivated due to their results last week, to not give up, ever! I want everyone to keep working hard and giving it their best. It may be hard now but once it’s over, I want you to not have any regrets despite the results. I want at the end of the day, even if it’s not the result you want, you’d go “Well that’s ok, I tried, maybe it’s just not for me” than to say “I regret not studying hard enough!”.

This might be cliché but nothing is impossible; you still have time to work for it, you still have time to push your grades up. Don’t let your results now demotivate you and please, please don’t compare yourself to others. I know it’s hard not to but it’ll just make you feel crappy and we don’t want that. Aspire to be like them instead of being bitter that they got amazing results. Make them as your motivation instead; if they can do it, you can too!

I know this is somewhat a long post but please don’t give up. It breaks my heart to know that every one of you, who has the potential to go far is giving up NOW because of these results. These results don’t determine your intelligence, remember that too. The world is big; it’ll find a place for all of us. So please keep working hard and do it at your own pace. As Liyana’s post last time, you do you. Don’t let anyone or anything demotivate you, everyone has a bright future ahead of them if you strive hard enough.

I wish you all the best for the future. Not just for the ‘O’ and ‘A’ Level students but to each and every one of you. Don’t give up easily, life is hard, life sucks, we all know that but dance in the rain instead of waiting for it to pass. The feeling of seeing the rainbow at the end is truly indescribable, it’ll be worth it guys.

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I wear glasses.

I've been needing glasses to see ever since I was 7 years old, diagnosed with astigmatism.What is astigmatism? I'm no optometrist but let me tell you how it feels living with astigmatism. Everything is a blur. Literally. My laptop screen, my phone screen, people's faces, my face on the mirror. Everything. Don't even get me started on trying to see the board or projector screen in class. (This could be a separate post on how my daily life is without my glasses)

I gave in to wearing glasses everyday ever since I started driving because I am almost as blind as a bat at night. Contact lenses are a no-go because astigmatism prescription lenses are expensive to pre-order for the rest of my life.

Here are the #firstworldproblems glasses-wearers go through, at least in my experience:

Laying down with glasses

There are times when I just want to be normal and lay down while I watch a movie on my laptop. But the glasses forbids. Everything just gets disrupted when laying down causes it to be crooked. I can never get comfortable with my head on a pillow while having perfect eyesight. Never.

Smudging make up

You know that area on the bridge of the nose where the glasses rests? Make up never lasts there. It's the land where make up should never be applied. You either get foundation smeared on the glasses or smudged make up on the bridge of your nose. You choose which one is worse.

What's an eye make up?

Eyeliner on fleek? Eyeshadow blending skills? Fake lashes? What are those? Why waste money on those when they're going to get hidden behind those frames you need for seeing? That's ok, I didn't feel like vamping up my eye make up anyway *cries*

Glasses sliding down my nose

What's nerdier than having to push your glasses up every few seconds? Nothing. What would I not pay for non-slip glasses. Sigh.

Keeping the shawl in place

The glasses move an inch, the inner moves, the shawl moves too. One heart, one soul. They say beauty is pain.

Keeping them clean

The least favourite part of my day is when I take off my glasses only to see all the foundation stains on the temples of my glasses. Another pet peeve of mine is wearing my glasses right after a workout when my hair is drenched in sweat. Do you know how icky that feels? If only I didn't need them to drive back home at night.....

The fog

That few seconds of complete blindness after exiting a super cold room. The biggest problem is exiting the library where I usually have both my hands full with heavy bags, that means no free hands to carefully take off my glasses and wipe them clean. Nor do I have the patience. A few seconds of walking blindly always seems like the better option.

I'm sure there are many more where these came from. Tell me, my fellow glasses-wearers (?), do you feel the same?! Tell me I am not alone.

Liyana Sidek

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*blows of dust.

Before I start off my post, Both Liyana and I would like to again apologize for the lack of updates. We’re trying our very best to stay consistent but well, life is unpredictable. We’d also like to thank those who constantly check this blog for updates. Virtual hugs to everyone!

*Warning: content might be too sappy.

So where do I start?

Well, life has been very overwhelming lately and those who follow me on social media might know the reason behind this, but I’d rather not say why, at least not specifically. So, I’ve been feeling really intimidated by the amount of work that has been thrown at me lately and I always feel the need to rant, whine or complain about them. Though, the more I think about it, the more I resist myself from doing so.

Why? Simply because I know other people have it a lot worse. While people on the other side of the earth are struggling to find food, shelter and all the things I am blessed with; here I am complaining about these little things.

Yes, I have been feeling stressed out and tired lately to the point that every time I rest my head on my pillow, I would instantly fall sleep; provided I was not doing anything that time of course. E.g. playing with my phone. But again I tell myself, why should I be stressed out because of these things? Other people do it too, if other people can do it, why can’t I?

I am honestly truly blessed that I am surrounded with people who genuinely support me in everything that I do, the people who wouldn’t think twice before helping me, the people who are always there exactly at the time I need them, the people who help me get back up every time I fall.

I am equally as thankful for my family, especially my parents for being supportive, patient and strong for letting me face all the difficulties that life has to offer by myself so I can learn from them; even when I know it hurts them to see me going home late almost all the time, not having a smile on my face and just rarely seeing my face in general.

And of course, not to forget our Creator, Allah SWT; No matter how big the amount of work that’s been thrown at me, I know He’s always there to help. He’s blessed me with all the things I have now and what else could I ask for?

These people are the reason why I still do what I do. These people showed me the reason to not give up even when things get hard. I may not always express myself much but here’s a post to all of you. One of many blessings that Allah has given me, is to have each and every one of you in my life.

Alright, that's it from me. I'll come back with nicer posts next time!

Sabrina Yussof

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Hi everybody!

It’s been soooo long, I’ve missed blogging so much. I thought I would have the time to blog last month but towards the end of the semester, the workload got a whole lot crazier, final assignments from every module required all my attention and I’m truly sorry I couldn’t squeeze the time to share some of the moments with you guys. To those who’ve missed reading our blog, a big thank you for always checking on the blog and supporting us, it means the world to us!

So I was thinking hard on what to blog about because I have all these ideas but then something popped into my mind as I’ve just finisahed my exams.

All of you may know (or not) that I just finished my exams, and if you follow any of my social medias you would know how much I’ve struggled this semester. Though I only showed you what I wanted to show, know that there is more than what you’ve read or seen. I’ve had countless times where I thought of giving up because everything was just so difficult that I couldn’t stand them but I’m the type to always think about the things I’m about to do first before doing them; there are times I would YOLO it though, (I like using the word YOLO, hehe) but most of the time, I always think of what’ll happen if I do certain things.

In this case, giving up.

I made time for myself to think about this; like what will happen if I just drop everything that I’m doing now and just, walk away.

First and foremost, I think of my parents. My parents have given me so much, more than I could repay them and for me to give up, just like that, would break their hearts. If I ask for something, they would give me, if I need help with anything; they’re always there for me. How can I give up, when all they want is to see me succeed in my studies, and generally, in life. I can’t bear to watch the disappointment on my parents’ face if I made the decision to give up.

Second, my siblings. I am the eldest of four and the pressure is unreal. I know we are all doing our own things but I know that they still look up to me, because I am their sister. If I give up, they’ll think to themselves that “Oh, maybe if she can give up, I can give up too.” NO. I do not want that kind of thinking from any of my siblings. I want them to always give their best, and always try; and giving up, is not an option. But then I ask myself, “You don’t want them to think that way but, why did you?”

Third, my other relatives. I have an amazing family, I kid you not; they are the world to me. Both families from both sides are gem. I would not trade them for anything. I have aunts, cousins, uncles, who always motivate me, support me in everything I do. They would be genuinely happy for me if I did something good, but they would also be sad if I did something bad. I remember the disappointment on my cousin’s face when I flunked almost all my papers when I was in secondary. I cried to myself that night because I told myself how could I have done that to her? To myself? And from that day, I always pushed myself to give the very best, even if I have little confidence in whatever I’m doing. I tell myself to always do my best because I just can’t bear any more disappointment coming from the people I love.

And lastly, myself. I already can’t bear to see the disappointment in everybody’s faces, how will I bear to face the disappointment in myself? I’ve been working hard since day 1, I’ve gone through a lot of things and to just give it all up? I must be out of my mind. I tell myself, I was not raised to be the type of person to give up easily. No matter how hard the situation might seem, I will always try to push myself and just do it. It gets hard, I might break down and cry but I tell myself, don’t give up. Cry as much as you want, but never, ever give up. Once you’ve given up, you’ll lose everything.

With the help of all these in my mind, I managed to survive yet another stressful semester. I have to accept the fact that this is just how it’s going to be. There’s always going to be bad days but there will also be good days. People might throw a huge amount of workload at you but you just gotta do it. Oh and one of the motivation was also probably because my cGpa is at risk so I have no choice but to give it my all but it was mainly because of all the points I’ve listed down. Just saying guys.

I hope all of you did well on your exams and none of you gave up. And if you did, take it as a lesson and try not to give up next time.

So, I’m going to end this blog with this;

Sorry for this long post, don’t worry, beauty posts are coming next!

Sabrina Yussof

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One step at a time,

One day at a time.

Let that sink in for a while. What does that mean to you?

If you've been keeping up with this blog, you'll know that being on a break from Uni definitely did not mean a break from work and responsibilities for me. I thought I'd be stress free for 3 months but that's not what is happening right now.

At times, I find myself stressed out to the point where I am demotivated beyond words. I stress out about things that have yet to be done, and I just want to do them all in one go. But we all know what that will turn out. There are so many things I want to do and achieve but all I end up doing is nothing.

Trying to do everything at once results to not getting anything done at all.

That's when this phrase comes in handy.

One step at a time,

One day at a time.

1. I try to be patient with myself.

I am naturally not a very patient person. When things don't go well or according to plan, I lose my temper and drop everything I initially plan to do. I get mad at myself for not being to fulfill my own expectations, and I rush through a lot of things that should not be rushed. This is something I'm trying to improve about myself because a little bit of patience can go a long way.

2. I try to plan my day.

Every night, I try to look through the list of things I need to get done the next day to mentally prep myself of what I should expect and remind myself of errands or meetings that I need to attend to. I also check upcoming events, speeches or deadlines I have in the next few days or week to keep myself on track.

Now, this is quite a challenging task for me because as I have mentioned, I am not a very patient person and I can't stand having to sit and look over my planner for just a few minutes because my mind is urging me to go do something else. However, I think this is crucial step that needs to be done every day to ensure that you have an efficient tomorrow! This is another thing I am trying to improve about myself.

3. Stick with it!

It's one thing to plan, it's another thing to actually carry out those plans. If you put that Pro in Procrastination like I do, we both need to work on that! Procrastination is a habit probably 99% of people possess, so don't worry you're not alone! But just because everyone else is doing it, it does not mean you shouldn't try to grow out of it.

4. I try not to stress out on the "have-nots",

Like I have mentioned, I tend to stress out a lot on things that I have not yet done. Whenever I am trying to work on one thing, my mind will drift off and worry about another. This will distract, disturb, irritate and finally cause me to abandon the work I was working on in the first place. Productivity = 0.

5. I try to be realistic.

I have made the mistake of trying to dump everything I have to do in one thing thinking "yeah, I can handle all this. That way, I'll have a productive day and all my work will be done!" Guess how that turned out? Horrible. I couldn't keep up with things and I ended up sulking the entire day.

Now, whenever I plan for the next day, I try to keep my plans realistic and I try to keep in mind time I have for each plan.

6. Be spontaneous once in a while.

After having said all that, it's clear that a well planned out day is better than a messy one. But whenever you find the time for anything besides work or errands, nothing is better than some spontaneous fun with the ones you love. Have a meal out or just hang around with the people who matter to you. Make use of that time before you need to get back to well planned out day! :)

Liyana

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Hi everyone! This post is going to be a bit different than the rest cause we’re not going to talk about us; this post is all about YOU, our readers.

We both were talking about our blog recently and we got really curious on who our readers are, what you guys think of our blog and what you guys think about us. I know it has only been a few months since we’ve started this blog but we’ve reached over 3000 views already and we are so overwhelmed by that. We would like to thank each and every one of you for reading our blog, whether you have been following us since day 1 or if you’ve just stumbled upon our blog recently. Thank you so much everyone, we appreciate your support.

However, in order for us to improve in the future, we would like you guys to share your thoughts and opinions on our blog and write it in the comments section below. We know it’s called two minds two voices but we have decided that we want to see more minds and voices come together to make this blog more alive. We also want to know your suggestions on what to blog about because sometimes, we can easily run out of juice. (Especially when we’re hungry.)

Having you to share your thoughts and opinions will make us feel like we know you better! We don’t want our readers to just be a shadow behind the screen cause you have been reading about our lives and now it’s time for us to get to know yours! We feel the need to know our readers personally so we know whom we are writing to, or whom we have been talking to.

Although we want your opinions but negativities are never welcomed. We want our blog to remain positive so you guys, our readers will exit the site feeling positive. We may be like other bloggers who post about their lives but at the end of the day, our aim for this blog is not just to share but also to inspire, and to motivate our readers. Nothing is more heartwarming than knowing we have inspired and motivated people in any way possible.

So to sum up everything, we would like to hear from you, our readers. Your thoughts and your opinion matter to us; Let us get to know each other, not just you getting to know us, but also vice versa. We want to get to know you personally because without you guys, we would just people who write stuff on the Internet.

Feel free to reach out whenever and wherever you like! Whether it’s on the comments section in this blog or even our personal social media! Give us a tweet or anything telling us what you think of our blog. Whether we know you or not, it doesn’t matter! We are always thankful for you guys, we hope you know that and we hope you will continue reading our blog.

Liyana & Sabrina

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