It's that time of that semester where everything gets out of hand and things crumble down piece by piece. I panic almost every minute of everyday while I try to put on a composed face. As usual, I don't get things done one by one. I let everything flood me and test my patience. Most of the times, trying to be composed doesn't work anymore. I hate knowing that I did not give my best in the things I do and I let that haunt me.

However, I feel like this year could be better (in terms of handling my stress). I want it to be. I need it to be. I've been telling myself some things to get myself through each and everyday. If I stick with it for a while, it might actually really work.

1. Positive thoughts
It's been said that your thoughts shape your reality so I decided to put it to the test. I've been trying to mould my thoughts and shift them into something more positive and brighter in hopes that it'll lessen the pain of everything. Every waking day, I force myself into the positive zone even though sometimes, it's a tough battle. It's a work in progress but If I believe, I can.

2. Not everything deserves a reaction
I react to everything and that's not necessarily a good thing. When something bad happens, I'm like a chemical reaction that doesn't just fizzle, I explode! In chemistry class, I thought that inert gasses were useless. Why do they even exist anyway? But if you think about it, if all gasses reacted, wouldn't we be living our lives on our tiptoes hoping nothing explodes on us? Sometimes, inert is good after all.

3. Those who matter don't mind, those who mind don't matter.
I'm sure this phrase is  more than well known and a lot of people probably live by this quote. But it's true. The only opinions you should take into account are of those who are dearest to you because if they really are on your side, anything they say is just for your best interests. I've had my fair share of rude comments and harsh words thrown at  me, and yes it hurts! But in relation to my second point, reacting to it is probably not the wisest thing to do. Not everyone will understand your journey and everyone will have an opinion on everything you do but that's okay! You do you, you do you.

Now, after countless attempts to continue with my part 2, I've finally gotten the chance to sit in front of my laptop and do so. Oh and just to let you know that I've divided my posts to three parts, and each part represents one day. So in this post, I'll be talking about the things that happened on the second day.

A week ago I attended a leadership course for UBD's new batch of Student Council, and apparently it was a 5 days course; the first two days were in UBD and the rest were in Temburong. I initially didn't like the idea of the leadership course because I thought it would be boring but I thought wrong. All the activities were really interesting and on top of that, the people, the new student council, were amazing. I never would have thought that I would be working with these people. Honestly after the 5 days course were over, I am beyond excited to be working with each of them.

The first two days were just normal leadership courses; a short team building activity, getting to know one another and so on but the real challenge was, the 3 days course in Temburong. Upon going to Temburong, I asked around the people who have been there about the situation so I know what to expect and oh boy, whatever they told me were all very terrifying. Some said we needed to go through flying fox, jungle trekking, solo camping in the jungle and etc. I got really intimidated as I have a fear of heights, I have a fear of falling down, and I am a real sissy; I can not sleep alone, especially in the jungle. So I prepared myself, I bought all sorts of "survival" supplies, a.k.a. insect repellent, food, flashlights, food, sunscreen, more food and many more stuff that I needed to equip myself for the wilderness.

Finally, D-Day; woke up early to check that I had everything I needed, and I can't tell you how heavy my bag was! The bag was honestly half my size! It's crazy. We were told that we were going to Temburong by bus so everyone had to meet up in Uni, and by the time I got there, the sky was dark and I knew it was going to rain so a lot of things went through my mind and I immediately asked Allah for protection, not only for me but for all of us. It was a long trip going to Temburong and I had no idea we had to pass by Limbang because I've never traveled to Temburong by car and I don't remember the last time I went to Limbang. It was nice to see Limbang though as I don't have any memory of it and some of my friends told me about the shops, what they have there and etc.

And then we arrived to Temburong. On the way to our destination which was OBBD in Batang Duri, I got extremely nervous. I don't know what to expect even if I've been asking around about it, but I was still pretty nervous. As we arrived, we were greeted by the instructors (if I'm not mistaken), they told us a bit about the course and before we get started, they told us to help ourselves with the food they provided. (YAS FOOOD). Though, I wasn't really into the food but more to the scenery! It was beautiful, I was completely surrounded by nature and the sound of the waves from the river was very calming. Took a deep breath and prepared myself for whats to come.

After that we had to see the medical officer to re-check if we're fit for all the activities that were set for us, and Alhamdulillah we are all fit! (Well except Bazilah, she can't join us for Jungle Trekking.) That time we were given sleeping bags too, and I figured we weren't going to be provided with comfy beds. Sigh. They gave us all the supplies we needed as well like life jackets, helmets and so on. Not to mention that they confiscated our phones! AND GUESS WHAT? They took my food tooooo!! but that's ok because we were going to be given food anyway.

Before our first activity, our Coach, Nain, gave us a briefing on the Do's and Don'ts. Once we've finished with that, it was time for our first activity and that was, the trust fall. My eyes grew wider as I saw the coach holding a piece of cloth because I remembered, my friend told me that they had to do the trust fall with the cloth too and when I saw the coach holding that I immediately knew we were going to do it. The first level of trust fall was a simple one, we were just asked to fall forward and backwards while two of our friends, one in front and one at the back, pushed us so we don't fall to the ground; that part was easy. Level two required absolute trust in team mates catching you. One person was asked to step up while the rest were on the ground holding the cloth. The coach first demonstrated us on how to do it and the fact that he did not hesitate falling down surprised me. I thought to myself, I shouldn't hesitate, I know that they'll catch me no matter what. A lot of people went before me and when it was my turn, I went pale but I trusted my team mates and I didn't hesitate to fall. I was happy that they caught me but I was also sorry for that because of obvious reason, I am not light. Hehe.

We were given the time to rest and pray after the trust fall and all of us were curious on the next activity so we asked the coach. The moment I heard "flying fox" came out of his mouth I was completely frozen. I am afraid of heights but deep down, waaaaaay deep down inside of me I feel the need to try. I always feel that way; I'm very weird. I always feel like doing extreme things but I'm afraid of them plus I have this goal each year to do something that I'm afraid of and flying fox was definitely one of them. After our rest, it's time to climb up to the hill to go to the flying fox. Climbing up the hill with the stairs provided was harder than I thought, maybe because I kept thinking about the flying fox, whether I'd be able to do it or not. When we arrived to the top, I was so shocked to see how high we were. The path for the flying fox started from the forest crossing the river to the other side. I kept thinking, what if I lose my grip and fall to the river... but then I erased that thought because I told myself I was going to be ok but I was still shaking.

And again, a lot of people went before me and I was the second last person to go. My legs were shaking as the coach prepared the equipment for me to go on the flying fox and when it's time to go, I closed my eyes and screamed! I told myself to open my eyes to see the view and to be honest, that was one of the best decision ever made. The view was spectacular and I wasn't as scared as I thought I would be. I didn't feel scared even if I was high up, and I felt that the time was short. I wished it was longer but I don't think I can do it again! That's enough for this year!

Once everyone went through the flying fox, the coach told us to describe it in three words without having the word fun in it. Mine was probably the most boring as I said "My first experience" though it was true. That was my first experience and if it weren't for the course, I wouldn't have tried flying fox and I'm so proud that I did. I loved it every second of it! Next, we went to the river to learn how to float, in case anything happens. The moment I dipped my feet in the water, I shirked because the water was EXTREMELY COLD however, it was also really refreshing especially after a long day under the heat. I actually love the water but recently I got a bit scared since I haven't been swimming so my confidence was low. Though as we practiced, I got the hang of it and I wished we stayed longer in the water.


After we're all cleaned up, dinner was served and our next activity commenced! We were asked to write down our personal goals of coming to OBBD and our goal as a team. I had a lot of ideas but I settled to only one. As for the team, we were asked to draw our own logo, write down our motto, our goals as well as create a chant to motivate ourselves for the rest of the activities. We came up with our goals first, then our motto, our logo came next and then the chant.

Our goals were:

• Be a better team
• Understand one another 
• Experience hardship together 

Our motto was:
"Berbasah dilalui, Berpanas dihadapi, Cabaran di harungi"

Which means that in any kind of conditions, whether its raining or if its extremely hot, all obstacles can be and will be faced. - That's in my opinion. Kudos to Rawi for this motto! We all loved it!

As for our logo, we drew a lifebuoy which had MPP 15/16 written on it and hearts to fill up the empty spaces. I forgot the reason why we drew it like that, I think half of the reason why was because we kept seeing them all around the place but the other half, I'm not completely sure and last but not least was the chant. I came up with a cliche chant, the rest were busy coming up with all the motto, logo and stuff and I also wanted to contribute so I was in charge of coming up with the chant.

So I came up with:

"MPP!"
"YES!"
"ARE YOU TIRED?"
"NO!"
"ARE YOU A QUITTER?"
"NO!"
"THEN WHAT ARE YOU?"
"INVINCIBLE!"

..........................  *Crickets*

Yes, sorry, that was kind of lame, I take full responsibility. We'll work on that, I swear it sounded better when everyone said it.

So once everything was done, the coach came back to see the final product and as we were talking about our personal goals, there was a drill; in case of flooding. So we grabbed our life vest and went to the place they told us earlier and once we're there, an instructor told us that it was only a drill and should there be flooding, that was the place to go to. Just as we were going back to our original place, I looked up and saw the sky was full of stars and I got really excited! I mentioned in one of the activities in UBD that I love looking at the stars and I can't believe my eyes! The sky was glittering and I'm not even exaggerating.

We went back to telling our personal goals and our goal as a team and mine was to face my fears before I turn 20! As mentioned that, every year I tell myself to do the things I'm afraid to do and flying fox was one of them. The activity ended with the coach telling us that we were going to go jungle trekking the next day and again, nervousness came as I am very bad with jungle trekking but that story is for another day. The place we're sleeping in was on the other side of the river, and in order to get there, we need to cross the bridge. It was pretty scary at first because it kept moving but as we were going to the other side, I looked up to see the stars again and there they were, glittering in the sky, I wish I took pictures of it so I can show everyone! The stars were really clear and visible! Sigh. It was magical!  Well, only for me I think because I am in love with the stars.

The place we were sleeping in had nothing except thin carpets, lights and two fans, literally. So we had to sleep on the floor with our sleeping bags. The girls slept in one place and the guys slept in another; all of us girls, slept next to each other facing the fan, and of course I needed to be in the middle because I can't really sleep if I have space next to me, in either side. I thought it was going to be hard for me to sleep but nope, the tiredness came to me and I fell asleep almost instantly. I used Izzati's sleeping bag as my pillow because she brought her own so I was pretty comfortable. And that was the end of Day 1.

Here are some of the photos from Day 1 taken from... everyone! Credits to you guys!